Us humans are like cars. We need proper maintenance and tune-up along the way in order to stay running as a well oiled machine AND avoid break down. I think I’m a pretty nice young lady, but I could be better. A few years ago I got the book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I read the inside flap which listed the four agreements and loved the idea of it… but never got around to actually reading the book! Recently a friend of mine had some hurt feelings based on her assumptions and it reminded me of the book so I dug it out and read her the inside flap:
1) BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
* I realized that sometimes I am not always impeccable with my word. I sometimes say things to please or appease others, when I do this I always have the best intentions but I really need to work on my follow thru. Sometimes I just really need to keep my mouth shut. This agreement spoke to me… I want to be impeccable!
2) DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY – Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.
* Sometimes I might come across an acquaintance that is having a bad day. Taking it personally I might think their sullen or angry attitude is directed at me when really they may have just been fired from a job or had an argument that has nothing to do with me. In the past, if I let it get to me and took it personally… I might start acting differently around that person thinking they dont like me, when really they just had a bad day. Again the book spoke to me and offered more room for improvement in my life.
3) DONT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS – Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
* I do a lot of assuming. I need to understand that people (including myself) aren’t mind readers. I can’t expect others to understand what I mean if I don’t clearly express it. I also cannot assume I know what others are going thru because I can only live MY life. Wow, I pulled this book out to help a friend and it turns out everything I was reading applied to my life as well!
4) ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST – Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid using self-judgement, self abuse and regret.
* I beat myself up all the time rehashing instances in my life where I could have done better or tried harder. This agreement teaches me to apply myself and focus on a positive outcome. I am a grand dreamer, both during sleep and while awake. Sometimes I get so consumed with the idea or plan that my action part doesn’t match up. I need to do my best.
So anyways, my mission is to work on applying these four agreements to every aspect of my life. I want to be a better person. I want to live so that no one speaks poorly of me, and if they do, that no one else will believe it. <— this is my mantra. To anyone reading this whom I have not been impeccable with my word to, taken something personally that had nothing to do with me, made assumptions about or not done my best for… please know that I’m working on it and I sincerely apologize for my past indesgretion.
I have the book and the audio book for my next road trip. A small group of friends and I are studying this book together and relating our findings at get-togethers. Follow-up to be reported